Onwards, Upwards, and Backwards

The problem is time, and loneliness. They go hand in hand; they always have. People do not form meaningful relationships overnight; a classic example of course, is the one night stand. However people also do not form relationships over any short period; there are fleeting friendships, holiday romances, work colleagues. They all form your perceptions of the world around you, and impact you in different ways, however they are rarely long-term friends, or even very good friends, because after all, we impact one another without ever really realizing that we have.

(1) It's nice, to be together. Ask Winnie the Pooh.

I always feel slightly deceived by the cliques that exist in high schools across the world, and the misconceptions that surround universities and colleges, after high school. Nothing really changes, and friends are not magically made. You do have to go out and find them, and hope that whilst you’re away, your old friends don’t move too far away from you. This is one of the worst parts of university; a complete upheaval of everything, including your friends, who are essentially the people you grew up with. It’s hard to be away from the people who know you better than anyone; suddenly you have to start making first impressions all over again, being presentable. You cannot be yourself in its full, unmitigated glory, because people can’t always handle that.

It’s challenging then, to go back to a time where people don’t know you, and have no history with you. They really don’t know you from Adam, and therefore, why would they bother with you if you didn’t come across well? This is a valid point, and one that I think is rather valuable to remember; people don’t owe you anything, ever. You call in favours, you must have history and friendship; the world is build on the latter. It’s a warm fuzzy idea, however sometimes it’s just plain alienating, because the new world is a billion miles away from where it used to be, and nothing is ever quite the same, after that. Including going home.

It’s inevitable that some life changing things will happen, and that some progress will be made. How much or how little is dependent on one’s willingness to change and evolve, and sometimes people have to go forwards in order to appreciate what they used to have. People move on. It’s one of the worst and best things about university, and I think it’s natural to think that. People are the same across the world; even if we were all still together, things would still be moving along. This tends to happen; as horrible as it is during high school, its way worse in reality.

But inevitably, we also find new people. And these people are just as amazing as the old people. They’re our people too. Real friends never tend to move too far away; they always come back given a phone call, or two.


(1) https://sarahalicewaterhouse.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/best_friends255b1255d.jpg?w=300



Grappling with Infinity

This morning, whilst I was chopping vegetables for a casserole, I found myself watching a programme about space, and began to think about the idea that it is never-ending; in fact, it’s getting bigger. More infinite. Everything around me, in this present moment, is placed inside something (I can’t think of the word to describe it) that is so big, that it literally is everything. Little things, such as bacon sandwiches and your boyfriend from year ten, and the wet washing that just won’t dry pales into significance next to this gigantic, incomprehensible complex.

The idea of infinity is almost too much for a human mind to comprehend, purely because as humans, we are finite. We have a period on earth, where we form a very tiny part of the gigantic system, and play our tiny, yet not insignificant role; everyone has their place in this gargantuan system of existence. Moreover, everything we do is fundamentally finite, because we are finite in ourselves. We attend university, however that is finite; reading is a finite activity; even marriage is inevitably finite. And so as a result of this constant stream of existence that almost has a ‘death complex’ to it, the idea that space is infinite is incomprehensible.

However, whilst it is terrifying, it is also amazing; we cannot possibly know everything about the universe, and therefore for all we know, there could be a hundred parallel universes; there could be craters on different moons filled with jelly, and a planet populated with teddy bears and aliens, and Martians. Not knowing everything is terrifying; however liberating because it awakens the mind to the impossible, and even if it is scientifically impossible, it allows the mind to imagine that it is because we cannot ever possibly know.

Now I think that’s amazing.