My Impersonation of A Mosquito

There are few things as daunting as starting a new job, or a new work placement. It’s even more daunting starting a job in these modem days because work placements are like gold-dust, and if you are lucky enough to be interviewed for a job you’d actually like to take, well, that’s quite an achievement. And so it means that you will want to dig your fingernails into its epidermis, and cling on to it, like it’s a zip wire over a pool of starving sharks.

It’s better, and it’s worse, when its a job that you don’t intend on being in for the rest of your life. It’s better, because then you don’t worry so much about every career move. It’s worse because you are no closer to having the job of your dreams, and the experience you are gaining is irrelevant. All that is important in this situation is the capital generated. Because capital lets you do exciting things like master’s degrees, and trips around the world. And we all love round the world trips.

Finding even the smallest job these days is a massive triumph, because we’ve got more people than jobs, and less money than we have people. It’s all very financially complicated, but I am numerically illiterate. I have been known to spend a week’s rent on shoes, and I am (or at least can be) hideously financially irresponsible. Helpfully I have a guilt mechanism when I exceed a certain financial limit I set myself.

This made me laugh.(1)

Since yesterday morning, I’ve continued my greedy quest for what will be “GASP!”, my second job. Having two lives means I have two jobs. I have two bank accounts, and two sets of bedding, I have two gym memberships. I look like I’m running a B&B for twins.

Since my lastest new year’s revelation, I’ve decided that until I can get a job at the one hotel I’d like to work for, I’m going to email them weekly. I will also be phoning, and paying visits. Essentially so that they’ll realize that if they employ me, they’ll actually see less of me, thus creating a win-win situation. People these days, have to be resilient. Mosquitoes are still thriving, because they’re evil, soulless, persistent beings. Humanity needs a little more mosquito. Ask, ask, email, ask, telephone, ask, ask, telephone boss- to – be’s wife, ask, beg, ask, threaten, ask, ask… You get the point.

Aside from finding you incredibly irritating, any prospective employer will see that you are resilient, thick skinned, and persistent. If you actually went so far as to tell on the boss to his wife, then he will probably take out some sort of injunction against you. But then again, he might find bravery an admirable trait to. If anything, you’ll make an impression.

So, dear reader, the moral of the story is persistence. Perseverance. And the ability to act like a predator, stalking his prey. I’ve emailed this hotel about six times in as many weeks. The manager might be deleting my emails. But they’re going to keep cropping up like a serious skin disease, until the time he goes to a surgeon, and begs for the problem to be removed.

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(1) http://marketingforhippies.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/marketing_interview.png

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Twittering Away

Twitter is a mode of technology I have consciously avoided, largely because I don’t understand it and secondly, it is about updating the world around you about what you are up to. However, my little sister decided to get twitter and so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon, if only to chat to her. Upon signing up, my suspicions were confirmed; an update service, circling around the most obscure elements of everyday life. But at the same time, celebrities seem to use it as a PR tool; a way to attract attention. And blogging, if nothing else, is about promoting yourself, and your abilities, as an artist, a writer or even a photographer. So tweeting seems like a good idea.

Tweeting seems as though it’s a constant status update, looking into every aspect of your life from what you had for your dinner, what time you got up and had a morning shower, to what your recent Asda shop consisted of. And a (very large) part of me can’t help but wonder why people want to know everything about everyone else; it’s as though human fascination, or a fascination in humanity as a species, has hit an exponential scale; the minute detail of everyday life is fascinating.

Twitter however feeds into the idea of self promotion in much the same way as blogging, hence the term “micro blogging”. Businesses feed into Twitter, updating everything from their staff roster to their current activities, and in this way, often use twitter to instantly promote themselves without having to go to the trouble of employing a PR company to do twice the work, for a gargantuan sum of money, without even half the effectiveness, as a simple Twitter post that can be accessed by millions. The instant nature of the Internet makes the world a smaller place, tied together with silicone strings; there is no such thing as the Atlantic distance, because it appears straight on your computer screen.

So, I’m going to give this twittering business a try, and see if I can make some more headway with my blog, and maybe one day I’ll be promoted to the “freshly pressed” section; attempting to promote yourself these days is sometimes easier than having to go through a business, or having to be signed up to agent. Your own little space on the Internet can be created, and so you have your own domain, and a place to begin building up your attempt for world domination, one follower at a time!

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